Finding ‘The One’—10 Ways Searching for Flights Is Like Dating

Searching for flights is exciting. In fact, it can make you feel downright giddy—especially if you think you’ve found ‘the one.’

But the process can also be time-consuming and a bit like a roller coaster. Often, it just doesn’t work out.

Sounds like dating/falling in love, doesn’t it?

This realization came to me a few weeks ago when I was searching for Mr. Right–I mean, the Mr. Right of All Flights. I was hoping he—it, that is—would be Colombia (story at the end of the post).  I wasn’t asking for much, not a soulmate or a husband. Just a basic flight.

But it never came together.

The idea for this post, however, did and so, there was a silver lining. Check out my list of similarities/tips and perhaps your luck will be better than mine—in flight searches and/or dating.

1. The Online Process Is Similar

In online dating, you enter search criteria and click on profiles. Like the pic and the basic details? Click for more info.

Searching for a flight is similar. Enter the criteria. Hit the button. Flight descriptions come up—including date, time and price. Want additional info? Click again.

Tip: Enter the right search criteria—or you won’t get what you’re looking for. As you will soon see, a lot can go wrong.

2. Red Flags Appear and Should Be Taken Seriously

When dating, one often spots red flags. The man or woman you’re with gives  TMI or doesn’t share enough. Or has an outburst in a restaurant. Is mean to kids. Whatever.

Same thing with flight searches. The site acts wonky. Crashes for no reason. Withholds key information like taxes and fees. Or overwhelms you with too much.

Red flag-o-rama, you think. Fuggedabout it. I’ll keep looking, thank you very much.

Tip: Pay attention to any/all red flags. If not, you’ll pay for it later.

3. Bait and Switch—More Common Than You Think

He/she looks good. You’ve got things in common. A match, right?

Well, get to know them and surprise! They’re completely different. They’ve got the looks of a supermodel and the personality of an angry pit bull. Or  you’ve got a Jekyll and Hyde on your hands.

It happens with flights, too. The price is sexy. You think it’ll meet all of your needs. You get psyched and press the ‘Choose this flight’ button.

Surprise! Now you see the flight’s  true colors. Fees and taxes. Multiple layovers, including 24 hours in Siberia (in the winter) or 18 hours, overnight in Detroit, arriving at 3 a.m.

Tip: Follow the advice found in Tip #1. By paying attention to red flags, you’ll avoid the bait and switch.

4. The ‘Good Ones’ Are Taken

If you’re single like I am, then you may have been told (or thought it yourself) that ‘the good ones are taken.’ You meet someone great only to discover they’re married.

The other folks you meet are OK, but not so wonderful, of course. You’re feel like you’ve arrived at the supermarket too late; only the crappy produce is left.

Well, the same concept applies to flight searches. While on the United site recently, I kept finding great flights. Perfect ones. Mr. Rights in a sense.

Then, just as I’d click, it would say, “No more seats available.” Gone. Just like that. All that remained—flights with 3 connections.

Tip: Start searching early. Don’t wait until the last minute (although, in some cases, it does work out when looking for a flight.)

5. Who’s Paying for Dinner Isn’t Always Clear

There was a time when men paid for first dates. Now, it’s anyone’s guess re: what will happen when the check arrives.

Same problem with flights.

Sure, international flights are quite generous. They pay for all the meals and alcoholic beverages. There’s wine, too, which can make things romantic.

Domestic flights, unfortunately, are cheapskates. They typically just give you coffee and tea for free, maybe a ‘snack.’ Want a real drink or some food? Cough up some money.

Tip: Always have cash and a credit card or two on hand. On some flights, they’ll take one or the other, but not always both.

6. When You’re Not Looking, You Find ‘The One’

Right person, wrong time. Wrong person, right time. Great flight, too early. Perfect flight, price and time—but to a country that just had a nasty earthquake or is on the verge of a revolution.

One day, that dream flight pops up on on your computer—nonstop, a third of the usual price, leaving at the time of day you prefer and going to Tahiti. Sadly, you have to let it go. The timing is wrong. The reason? You’re going to be the best man at your best friend’s wedding (and he took a bullet for you were you were a teenager.)

Say goodbye to that flight. It’s ‘the one that got away.’

Tip: Pretend you’re not looking and maybe ‘the one’ will come to you. Or start early enough and allow more than enough time. Or, better yet, throw out the idea of ‘the one.’ There are many ideal flights out there, not just one.

7. Regional/Domestic Flights—Like Dating the Boy/Girl Next Door

Nice, familiar, easy…and yeah, kinda boring. Sure, I can easily score a good deal on a flight to Florida, but so what? It’d be like dating a guy friend with whom I’m platonic. The spark just isn’t there.

But find me a ticket to Indonesia and I get butterflies.

Tip: Keep an open mind. Although the international flights might look more exciting, you never know. You could fall for something more local, especially if the price and timing are right.

8. Beware of Beer Goggles

Drink too much in a bar and you might go home with someone you normally wouldn’t. Search for a flight while buzzed—and you might make the same mistake. Flight options that might not be appealing suddenly look great.

Be careful. You don’t want to wake up in the am., thinking—Oh god, what have I done?—now do you?

Tip: Search for a flight while sober. Simple as that. OK, one drink is allowed.

9. Priceline is for the Smug Marrieds–not Singletons or Commitment-Phobes

Remember the Smug Marrieds (from Bridget Jones’s Diary)? Well, I suspect they’re the ones who use Priceline. People who know how to commit. See, you name a price and then, if the site finds a ticket, you have to buy it. As in, you must buy it.

Um, I don’t know, but that sounds like premature commitment, and it scares the hell out of me. Maybe it’s too much commitment for people like me, aka, Singletons.

Am I commitment-phobic? Perhaps. I think I’d rather play the field a bit before committing.

10. Breaking Up—Not So Easy to Do

Let’s face it. Situations change. People grow apart. They separate. And breaking up sucks. One or both people get hurt. And if it’s a divorce, it could cost a fortune.

When you break up with an airline—cancel a flight, that is—it’s often painful, too. Want a quick annulment? Good luck. Whether you like it or not, you’ve made a pretty serious commitment. (Think Wild West Justice of the Peace with a shotgun under his desk.) Like a possessive lover, the airline won’t let you go so easily.

Now, if you have a pre-nup (ie, paid a ‘flex fair’ fee in advance), you might be able to get out of it or reschedule.

Tip: If you buying a very pricey flight, it might be worth going for the pre-nup.

My Dream Flight–and Why I’m Still Looking

OK, so back to my original story: my tale of flight search heartbreak.

Here’s what I wanted:

—Open jaws: Newark, NJ, to Cali and back from Santa Marta, both in Colombia.
—No BS or games–ie, crappy layovers or sleeping with–I mean, in–Bogota.
—A decent price via cashing in miles OR using a $300 credit I had. Meaning, the date—flight, that is—would be mostly paid for by United.

During my search, there were highs and lows, moments of giddiness and of thinking, “I’ve found ‘the one.” And the let-down of figuring out that I hadn’t.

I had, actually, but United wouldn’t let me use the $300 credit I had. I wasn’t happy and this, sadly, killed the romance. I walked away.

Actually, I’ve moved on…to Mexico and the Caribbean and other airlines.

Maybe I’ll get lucky with one of them.

Your Thoughts/Reactions/Experiences?

Have you experienced any of the above-mentioned similarities? If so, which ones? If you know of any others, please share.

Have you found ‘the one’? If so how many times? Which search engine do you typically use and why?

Any ‘bad (airline) breakup’ stories? Feel free to share. It might be therapeutic.

And if you’ve got search tips you’d like to contribute—for flight or partner searches—please share. You could be making an important difference for someone.

And if you think you’re my type, feel free to DM me over on Twitter. 😉