I admire people who know how to camp and actually love it. I really do. They’re not unlike those whose VCRs and coffee pots never flash 12:00.
How do they do it? What is their secret?
Obviously, I’m a bit challenged in both these areas–especially camping. And it’s a shame because I truly love nature.
The handful of times I’ve tried it, it hasn’t gone well. In fact, I was ready to run to the nearest hotel (once, as you’ll see, I did.) And now, after trying several times over many years, I’m wondering–is it time to “pack it in” and give up? Or shall I try it one more time?
After reading my horror stories, let me know what you think. Is it me? Or is it camping itself? 
1. The Pup Tent Icebox
Where: Somewhere near the Grand Canyon, Arizona
My brother and I were sure this would be great–although we were somewhat concerned that it was late April and might be cold. But my brother was a Boy Scout leader, and so, I thought that granted us some sort of immunity from harsh weather conditions and other hassles. I assumed that we’d be ‘just fine.’
PS: We had camping mats to cushion our bodies from the rough ground.
What Went Wrong
A few things. Well, almost everything. First of all, I didn’t realize how small a “pup tent” is. Yikes. A baby rabbit would feel claustrophobic in one, I think. Second of all, it was cold. Really cold. Like 20-something degrees. Fahrenheit. And despite the mini padding we had, I still felt the ground beneath me. Ouch.
We slept in one remote area that I’ll admit was lovely, especially in the morning. The coffee we drank and the oatmeal we ate were simply divine. The views: breathtaking. As for showers, etc, well–there weren’t any.
Another night, we slept in a KOA campsite had various conveniences, which I liked, but there were too many people. Is there no happy medium? Or is there–a cabin?
2. Rain Falling + Dog Barking = Tent from Hell
Where: Sussex County, NJ
My dad and sister and I (and a dog) attempted camping in Sussex County, NJ. We had all the right gear and were ready to go for it. We settled into our tents and attempted to sleep. Everything seemed OK until…
What Went Wrong
…the rain began to fall and although we had a tarp of some sort, the sound of the rain hitting its surface was annoying. So was the dog’s barking. Anyway, we ended up fleeing to a local motel. We were all happy–the dog included.
3. Skeleton in a Meat Locker
Where: Machu Picchu, Peru
Because there were porters carrying the gear (and setting it up), I thought this would be ideal. Also, I had some nice Alpaca gloves, a hat and a scarf. I was ready for cold weather, which was exactly what I got on the third (?) night of hiking the Inca Trail. The altitude was really high.
What went wrong
I felt the sticks and stones underneath my sleeping bag and mat. And it was cold. Really cold. My teeth were chattering and I felt like my bones were rattling. Like a skeleton trying to get warm in a meat locker. Not fun. Hard to sleep.
Another camping experience gone bad… 
4. The Plastic Coffin Torture Chamber
Where: San Blas, Panama
This would seem like the place where it would be OK, right? A tropical climate, sand, turquoise water and the lovely sound of the surf. Also, someone else set up the tents AND there were air mattresses. Sounds like paradise, right?
Me, thinking, “Am I really camping on a tropical island?” (Notice the tent in the background.)
What went wrong
It was paradise–during the day. At night, though, it was a different world. Sure there was a lovely full moon, but there were thousands of skittling red crabs outside the tent and some unexpected rain that came inside. Once the tarp was up, it was OK. That was night 1, however.
The second night, I put up the tarp too soon (and safety-pinned it to the tent) and the sound of the wind coming through was the MOST ANNOYING SOUND EVER. Think–hundreds of garbage bags being slammed onto a plastic coffin-torture chamber. (To read the complete story, click here.) Eventually, I had to remove it and the put it back on when the rain came.
At least I was warm, right?
What Do You Think?
Am I just not meant to camp? Should I just stick to cabins? Have I been unlucky? Have I not chosen well–meaning, location, gear, etc.? Is it time for me to pack it in? Or shall I give it one more time under ideal weather and sleep conditions? Is there such a thing?
Are you a camper? What advice do you have for someone like myself? Where have I gone wrong? Should I just stick to cabins? Or will I miss out on something special?
Not a camper? Why not? Do you feel the stones underneath you? Do you long for a bed? Do you feel cold (or hot) or uncomfortable no matter what? Have you had experiences like mine? If so, please share!
Itnlooks like you gave camping a pretty good shot! When I don’t like something I give up pretty much straight away so good effort
camping in machu pichu sounds amazin but I agree that camping on a beach is never quite as fun as you’d think! Sand EVERYHWHERE!
Monica recently posted..Can Studying Journalism Help Travel Bloggers?
Hi, Monica. True re: that darn sand. It can really get in the way. I do think that the San Blas trip had potential. If only we’d had the right tarps.
As for the others, I suppose each had its unique set of issues. Maybe I’ll try it one more time, then give up!
Ah Chicky, sounds like you’ve not had the best of times just yet. Try some of these:
1. Get a dome tent. Can be put up and taken down in 5 to 10 minutes tops.
2. Get a blow up matress. The older I get the more I feel this is a necessity. If you’re camping near your car you can attach the pump to your cigaratte lighter or just take a footpump if out in the sticks. Either way a must have now I’m 30+ (I used to think it was cheating but it’s not – FACT).
3. Get a really good thermal sleeping bag with hood (always gotta keep the head warm in cold climates).
4. Take thermal socks and hat (gotta keep the extremes warm – the second you get cold to the bone you’re facing a losing battle).
5. Take wax ear plugs. Mould them into your ear and no dog will keep you awake. If the barking is still getting through take your trusted bottle of scotch out and glug it back and you’ll be passed out (and warm) in seconds.
Josh Aggars recently posted..London Fact of the Week Thursday True or False?
Hi, Josh. Yeah, the chicky has suffered a bit when camping.
I do think that they air mattress is a necessity. That did make San Blas a bit easier. The problem is if you’re traveling low-budget and can’t carry things like that. Perhaps they can be rented, but they’re not always available.
Yes to the earplugs and YES to the booze. Maybe that combo is the key?
As a reenactor who thinks that misery is fun, I am a bit biased, but I tolerate discomfort much less when “modern” camping than when I’m reenacting. I do think that some people are just not going to be a fan of camping, much the way that some people are just not fans of beaches. It’s entirely possible that you’re such a person, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
However, there are some things you can do that will (probably) make your camping a bit more pleasant:
1. Get a good, warm sleeping bag. This makes all the difference in the world.
2. Get a dome tent that is easy to set up. If it can’t be set up in 5 minutes or less, you don’t want it.
3. Get one of those sleeping pads that is actually a thin air mattress. They pack up small and provide quite a bit of comfort compared to the usual foam kind.
Kelsey–Thanks for joining the chat. I think you’re right; not everyone is going to like camping. And I may be one of them! Or I just haven’t done it quite right and got a bit unlucky. The dome tent sounds ideal and I had no idea that there were thin air mattresses. Perhaps what I was wasn’t the best quality. Anyway, I will keep it in mind if I try it again.
PS: Sleeping in the desert on the sand was much better/easier for me, strangely enough.
The sand was better, because it’s soft and also a good insulator.
I think you’re right! Also, my Bedouin buddies chose the locations well. They promised me that we were sleeping in areas not full of insects and they were right. Once I realized this, I was able to relax.
Hi Chickybus! I’m not a big fan of camping either. Last time I went, it was to join my cousins (country boys) in the mountains in Canada – proper wild camping. I needed the bathroom in the middle of the night and made one of my cousins come with me because I was afraid of bears! He wasn’t best pleased…
Rachel recently posted..Who to have sex with on your career break
Hi, Rachel. Thanks for stopping by! Proper wild camping? I shudder at the thought. Bears? I would have been scared and would have asked someone to come with me, too! Twice over the past couple of years, I’ve come across bears while mountain biking in Northern NJ. Both times, I freaked a bit. Since I’d never seen them before, they were a tiny bit shocking. Anyway, as you can imagine, I got a great workout. I pedaled hard and fast!
I only like camping when someone else plans and prepares everything, and nothing goes wrong
Stephanie – The Travel Chica recently posted..Buena Birra in Buenos Aires
So, Stephanie, it sounds like we’re on the same page–LOL. Have you ever camped and had nothing go wrong? Lucky you. Where was that? Perhaps I need to go there.
No doubt on two points-
A lot can go wrong camping, and camping isn’t for everyone.
I still enjoy it, just not for long periods of time. I usually do it in expensive places- like I just did in Yosemite. It was $20 a night and the cheapest lodging was well over $100 a night.
I usually take earplugs hoping to drown out any ambient noise, especially roads nearby, and with so many campgrounds in the US near interstates, this is essential.
Erik recently posted..Photo of the Day- Castillo de San Marcos National Monument, Florida
Hi, Erik. Yes to those two points!
Smart of you to camp when the other options were too expensive. Makes sense. As for the earplugs, definitely. Are campgrounds really sometimes near major highways? I had no idea. I think I’d have a hard time with that. Not just the noise but the vibration. That can also keep you up. Hmmm.
Hey Chicky!!!
Camping can be divine, but not when you have to pee in the cold night! My worst nightmare was a trip with the scouts in which I had no bag, just an itchy army blanket held together with diaper pins. Circa 1965, age 10. In the night I had to pee but was shivering so bad, I did not want to get up to do so. By the time I did, I not only froze whilst doing so in the outdoor air, but ended up peeing on my clothes and had to sleep in them the rest of the night! I decided that tenting was not to be my best adventure and stick now to RV’s. Seems to be a better combo!
Hugs
Hey, fellow chicky!
What a story and one that I can relate to even though I didn’t live it. I can feel that blanket plus the urge to go and imagine it all. That sounds horrible and I get why you turned to the RV experience. I think I’m a cabin person myself (and perhaps I should try an RV sometime) and don’t know if camping will ever come together for me. And if it doesn’t, that’s OK.
Thanks for sharing! xo
I think you have given camping plenty of opportunities to win you over with its charm, and it has just come up short. It’s not for everyone. I personally despise camping. I did it when I was growing up, and that was enough to last me a lifetime. I just don’t like “roughing it”.
Gray recently posted..Cruising to Bermuda Solo: The Journey and the Destination
Gray–So are you saying that camping hasn’t quite won me over?
I think you’re right. I may give it one more shot, but…conditions will have to be ideal. I had no idea you were a camper at one time. If I ever come up to VT, can we camp? Just kidding!
My first trip abroad when I was ten involved camping. For me it was fine but my brother’s tent fell down. A lot. In the rain.
He and his friend also seemed to be camped in the path of a huge frog migration so they spent the night battling hundreds of the things in the rain while I was nice and toasty in my sleeping bag.
For this reason alone, whatever else camping throws my way, the activity will always enjoy some reserves of goodwill from me.
Shane–That is wild. I think I would lose my mind dealing with frogs in the rain. I would pack it in and check myself in–LOL! You did fine, though. Funny. I guess everyone’s experience is different and although most of it involves having the right gear and being in a climate that you can handle on suitable terrain, there is a little bit of luck mixed in there, too.
Mmm, we knew we were up for a bad experience when it started raining and I went to the camp ground owner and said “Wow rain’s coming down hard”. Her response was “It’s not that, it’s that it’s relentless”.
4 days later, after having dug trenches around our site, finding out 2 people had left in the middle of the night because they didn’t want to admit they couldn’t cut it, and finally giving into tears from sleeping in a wet tent for 4 days, I finally admitted that next time I am doing cabins!
Hi, Kerry. That sounds awful–worse than my experiences. I give you credit for hanging in there, though. Cabins are wonderful, aren’t they?
Definitely, unless you’re going somewhere with guaranteed sunshine or killer camping supplies – then no problem
I have seen people in Europe set themselves up with inflatable seats and full lounge/dining areas in king size tents! They are the ones to camp next to though (when disorganised) because they have EVERYTHING!
Ha, ha–yeah, really. Can we throw in insect-free, too? Great tip re: the Euro campers!
Yeah, that insect comment reminded me of another horror story but I won’t go there!
Insects? I’m curious now!
I have far more limited camping experience than yours, but I do think not everyone is suited for this, um, activity. Maybe you’re just not the type, and that is 100% okay.
I myself have only been camping once and HATED it. My boyfriend at the time and I went with another couple. In the dead of winter. On top of a mountain. Now, this was in Texas, so you might say it couldn’t have been that bad. But winter even in TX on the top of a mountain is very, very cold. We stayed the whole weekend and I still remember tearing down the tents and packing everything up when it was time to leave. What a relief to get out of there!
Sabina recently posted..Egypt’s Blue Hole – Great for Diving, and Just Sightseeing
Hi, Sabina. Your camping experience sounds hellish–not unlike mine. On a mountain in the winter? I don’t think I would have liked that, either. Know what’s wild? I did much better sleeping on the sand, out in the open, in Wadi Rum than camping.
I’m planning to do the Inca trail but you have me nervous that I’ll have trouble sleeping! I guess I’ll try to be prepared..
Megan recently posted..A Road Less Traveled: Southern Honduras
Hi, Megan. So cool that you’re going to do the Inca Trail! If you have some very warm clothes (the Alpaca helps, but fancy hiking clothes could be better), you’ll do fine. I think it’s the 3rd night that’s cold. Good luck–enjoy!
This is why I am not a camper! Infact my idea of roughing it is a hotel room with Satellite TV.
I understand–definitely!
I am definitely not a camper. I have allergies to a lot of insects and plants so my skin usually takes a beating outdoors.
Rease recently posted..How NOT to Smuggle Cuban Cigars into the United States
Hi, Rease. That does not sound like a good allergic combo–and it’s a really good reason not to camp.
I’ve been camping several times, and my first adult camping trip was a total cluster as we were entirely unprepared. I have self inflatable pads that go under my sleeping bag, and I need noise (dogs, traffic, wind, etc.) in order to fall asleep. My only issue is camping in humid weather. Even with tarps, I’ll get condensation inside my tent.
Sounds like you’re a light sleeper, so I’d stick with cabins.
ehalvey recently posted..An Homage to My Favorite Beer
Hi, Erin. Unprepared? Yikes. I know what can go wrong when one is somewhat prepared. I can’t imagine the alternative. Interesting that you need the “natural white noise” to sleep. If I hear that, it could keep me up. But I’m a super light sleeper.
Yes, I’m definitely more of a cabin girl!
It started raining on us during our Grand Canyon trip.. and then the night. OMG SO COLD. Luckily Shaun is a good feet warmer…
Erica recently posted..Photo Essay: Hangin’ in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Erica–Raining? Oh boy. That must have been freezing cold. Cool re: Shaun!
Hummm… I usually make my buddies set up my tent haha although I can if need be. Alas, I’ve had similar experiences, I swear every time I go camping it rains. But I find having my car close by to sleep in if the tent leaks and lots… LOTS of beer helps
Sounds like you’ve had my sort of camping karma–lol–the rainy kind. What did we do in a past life to deserve it? :
Beer might be the way to go. And yeah, have the car nearby!
I grew up camping, then I went in the Military for 20 years, now Camping is anything less than a 3 star hotel.
HI, TF. You were in the military for 20? You can probably handle anything!
I think it’s all about attitude. I see it as a means to an end. I don’t think tent camping is ever particularly comfortable, I can’t count the number of times I’ve slept poorly because it’s too cold, too hot, too noisy, too many stones, crabs crawling over me, midges etc etc etc. In fact I’d probably do better counting the times I’ve slept well! I’ve got some gruesome camping stories too, like the guy who tried to use me as a sleeping mat!
Anyone who says camping is enjoyable is really talking about the opportunity to spend time in a beautiful spot that involves overnighting somewhere where there isn’t any other option. The actual experience is more than just the sleep bit, which usually sucks.
However, sleeping under the stars in the aussie outback in a canvas swag is quite another story. Don’t give up on camping till you’ve tried that.
Naomi recently posted..Tales of past travel
Naomi–Hi and thanks for joining the chat! Sounds like you’ve had some similar experiences. I appreciate your honesty about them, too. I agree that it’s more of an overall experience (and that it’s about attitude) and think that it has the potential to be amazing depending on so many factors. But so far, it’s been challenging for me. The best experience I had sleeping outside was not camping but sleeping on the sand in Wadi Rum, Jordan.
I haven’t made it to Australia yet, but if I do, I’ll try the canvas swag in the Outback. Sounds amazing!
I have a love/hate relationship with camping and it all depends on being prepared (and having a Walmart nearby if you find you are not!) I have to have an air mattress and eggshells under a sleeping bag/blanket which makes all the difference. I went from crying never again to when can we do this next! It also helps to have a tarp under the tent and a bigger one over the tent in case of rain. Camping can surprisingly be quite romantic but that is not a story for here 😉
Hola, Sprite. I hear you re: being prepared, and I think that’s the problem with most of the camping experiences I’ve had. I’ve been at the mercy of those running the tours, and as you know, they haven’t always had the best equipment. As for the tarp, um–yeah–I think that would have saved the day in San Blas.
I love camping, but no matter what I do, I always feel the ground beneath me….rocks and twigs or the occasional root jabbing me. Also, waking up feeling a little gross (I am a person that loves that morning shower), so I prefer to find a place where I can shower or swim in a lake to feel refreshed. I’ve camped in the pine barrens, beach, various music festivals and in state parks and as a girl scout leader, I camped in Jockey Hollow and Glen Spey NY. I would love to camp in the Caribbean. Perhaps I will pack my tent and take it to Nevis and give it a try.
Wow, Deb. I’m really impressed. I didn’t realize that you liked to camp. And you were a girl scout leader? Wild. How cool! I’m sure you’d love it in the Caribbean. Just make sure the crabs don’t get into the tent–LOL. When I was in Panama, there were zillions of large red crabs there. It was rainy season, however, and I was told that they weren’t a prob in the dry season. Anyway, as you can imagine, I kept the tent zipped up at all times.
Have a blast in Nevis! I look forward to hearing about your trip and seeing pics, etc.!
The advice that others have given (appropriate sleeping bag, air mattress, etc) is right on. But probably the biggest one is to make sure all your gear is up to the task and functioning the way it’s supposed to. How do you know it is? Try it out before the trip (I often do this in the back yard). Find out how many layers you need to keep you warm, set up the tent in pouring rain; can it take it? can you take it? Knowing the area you’re going to, as far as potential weather is concerned, is a huge plus too.
Once you know your equipment and yourself you might even consider doing something like this Iron Age hiking/camping trip (or not
) http://www.celticclans.org/clansgallery/index.php?album=historic-strides-2007
Hi, Dan. What you’re saying re: gear makes sense. I think the challenge occurs when I’m traveling in another country. I don’t always know what they have and am at their mercy. Iron Age camping? Well, that sounds pretty advanced for someone like me!
I hope you didn’t camp inside the ruin of Machu Picchu because of many reasons. 1) it was a secret city epecially for ceremonies to the gods. 2)If you saw a flat big rock, the incas used to use it for sacrification they opened their chest rip off the hearth pray to the death and cut off the head. just a little history point that i just wanted to add and next time put grass and laves under your camping next time that is going to soft the ground and keep you warm at the same time.
Hi, Giovani. Is that you–my former student? If so, hola!
I did not sleep inside the ruins. We were nearby and watched the sunset over M P, then made our way down. The heart-ripping thing does not sound like fun. Would really ruin one’s trip, I think.
Next time, I will try the grass and leaves!
Your ‘horror’ stories don’t really equate to anything all that horrific. You were cold, maybe got a little wet, and were kept up some nights by noise. It’s seems like you’ve had some back luck in just having a warm, calm night to camp.
I’ve had tents that won’t stay up (ie: an “easy” pop tent that took 3 people to assemble…wtf?!), cold nights with 3 people in a two person tent, and suffered prairie windstorms that have flattened the tent onto me while I was still in it, but I still managed to enjoy myself.
I just get the impression that camping isn’t your thing. Maybe stick with a cabin or try the unique alternative of a yurt.
Robyn recently posted..Why I love my iPhone
Robyn,
The title was mostly meant to be tongue in cheek, but it did represent those nights for me personally. I think that, as with many things, it’s all relative. For an experienced camper, what I went through may seem like mere inconvenience. For those who don’t camp at all, are new to it or are poor sleepers, nights like I had could/would be hellish. When I was in Panama, the sound of the tarp slapping the tent (plus the other issues) truly was torture for me–hence, the name “torture chamber.” It was also pretty awful getting wet, as I did, and having to position my umbrella to protect my camera, computer, too. PS: I think I also had PMS that night, which only made it worse! LOL
Anyway, I may stick with cabins or just camp in the United States, where I can have every convenience in the world–like a an air mattress, etc. That would certainly make it easier. Your idea of a yurt is a great one. They look cool!
PS: A pop-up tent that took 3 people to assemble? I’d be pissed. And prairie windstorms that flatten tents? Yikes! Not fun.
When I first read this, I thought it was a joke. Every one of these stories literally sounds like a slightly altered version of my favorite camping trips. I cracked up when I read “although we had a tarp of some sort, the sound of the rain hitting its surface was annoying.”
The first story sounds like the absolute perfect camping trip. Also, cold weather and rain just make that cup of hot chocolate and hot oatmeal in the morning worth it. I actually cannot understand how any of these trips invoked the least bit of misery. But that could just be my conditioning–I’ve been camping since I was an infant. *sigh* I’m glad you gave camping a shot, though!
Hi, Ben. Based on your response, I see that you missed the humorous aspects of this piece, which was somewhat tongue in cheek. (Note: it’s listed in the Humor category on my site.) Perhaps you should read my reply to “Robin,” the commenter right before you. Your views sound very similar. Also, note that two of the experiences were in other countries (developing ones) where there’s no simple way out once you’ve started the trip. That’s very different than camping in one’s own country where one a) has good equipment and b) can modify plans as needed. Harder to rectify problems and certainly no hot cocoa or oatmeal in the a.m.
Good for you that you started camping as a baby; I’m sure that makes all the difference in the world!
Haha, I also have a love/hate relationship with camping. And I always overpack on the warm clothes. I HATE being cold while sleeping.
Gina recently posted..Staring into a Whale Shark’s Mouth
Hi, Gina. You, too? Glad I’m not the only one! Being cold while sleeping = not fun!
Loving the article. I love the idea of camping, but actually doing it is where I fall down. Every time I’ve been camping it’s either too hot or too cold, and I have a total inability when it comes to making a camp fire, therefore now when people make the offer, I decline.
Thanks! Camping is definitely not for everyone…
Great stories! I have been lucky enough, working as an overland tour leader, to introduce a lot of people to the joys of camping. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing people who have never camped before realise they love it. But to be fair I have had my share of horror stories. But hey, they are the ones we always talk about. It always seems to come down to being prepared, but then you think you are and Mother Nature throws you a curve ball. Fun times!
Kirsty McGregor recently posted..The Ultimate Resource for Overlanding – Part 2: What is overlanding like?
Hi, Kirsty. Glad you enjoyed the stories! You’re an overland tour leader? Very cool! I can imagine it’s wonderful to turn people on to camping. And I suspect that if I went with a small group and had the right equipment, I might really get into it. Maybe I need to go somewhere like Hawaii or California? Seems like the weather could work in my favor.
Maybe I’ll try again sometime…
True, of course, that the best stories are often those that come out of the challenging experiences.