For about a month or so, I was strongly considering a trip to Indonesia this summer. It had been on Top 5 list for a while and a friend of mine was possibly going to join me. After a trial run and settling on separate travel initially plus meeting up in Bali later, she decided (for health/financial reasons) not to take the trip.
I still wanted/planned to go, however. I even made contact with an English teacher in Sumatra and was possibly going to stay with her and volunteer teach and then travel around, ending the trip in Bali. It sounded just right…
Decision Followed by Hesitation…
But every time I went to hit the ‘purchase ticket’ button, I hesitated. I began to wonder if it was fear (of earthquakes since the Japan situation shook me up) or something else.
It didn’t make sense, though, because if you check out where I’ve been, you’ll see that I normally (and obviously) don’t worry about things like that.
So, when I found that the indecision was lingering, I went out into nature (a special place that helps me clear me head no matter what is going on) and let the sound of the water help me get into my own personal flow. I relaxed and let go a bit and let the thoughts come to me.
And a few things came to mind….
1. Indonesia is definitely my kind of trip, but…
Under normal circumstances, Indonesia would be exactly what I’d be looking for in terms of summer travel. It’s exotic and surreal, I’d get a nice dose of culture shock and have plenty of ‘new’ experiences. It would undoubtedly be a Chicky Bus sort of trip.
2. …Right now, I’m not in that head…
While I like that type of trip, it does (for me) take a certain kind of energy–emotional, mental, etc.–to process the experiences. I generally like to expend that sort of energy. It normally feels exciting to me.
This time, for some reason, it felt different.
3. Meanwhile…I’m still processing my last trip
Last summer, I went to the Middle East….it was a fantastic trip that I think I’m still processing in some way. And that’s a good thing because I’m still writing stories about it, most of which no one has read because I haven’t shared them here. The reason is that they’re for my book!
3. And I’m hoping to finish my book…but just hit a wall
I’m in the process of writing my travel memoirs. I used to think it was one long book, but I now think it’s two shorter ones. Book 2, ”Tales From the Chicky Bus,” is deep and fun and quirky (like this website on steroids) and, I think, it’s 90% finished (rough draft anyway with 2 sections that need redoing).
Where did it end? In the Middle East, where my life and travels really seemed to make sense.
Book 1, meanwhile, is about my life-changing experiences in one particular country and includes shamanism, romance, adventure and plenty of in-the-moment experiences. It tells the story of how I went from living a traditional life here in the US to picking up and moving there and discovering who I really was/am.
The country? Ecuador. The problem? Lately, I’ve found myself hitting a wall. Writer’s block, that is. I’m having trouble recalling certain things, mostly details I need for descriptions. And I need to break through it.
5. Realization: Right Now, a Sense of Completion is More Important To Me Than New Adventures
I will go to Indonesia, but not now…. I’d rather finish the rough draft of Book 1 and I’m quite sure that visiting Ecuador will help me do it. And if so, it would make me happy.
Traveling to Indonesia could make me happy too, but…it would mean so many new experiences and things to write about that I would be get even more sidetracked. It would only delay completion of the book. And that would not make me happy.
New Plan: a Trip to Ecuador and Maybe Panama!
Quito/Tumbaco First
So, based on all of that, here’s what I’m thinking. I’ll go to Ecuador first.. I’ll probably spend several days or so in Quito and Tumbaco, the two places I lived in when I was there. They were very different worlds back then, and I’m sure they’ll be even more different in terms of modernization, etc, but….still…to be there, to remember certain things (streets, food, smells, etc.)
Maybe some classes in Spanish
Although I’m relatively fluent, I’ve gotten a little bit rusty. Also, studying the language again will help me reconnect with the culture, which is very important for the book. It will help me understand certain things better.
1 week in Cuenca and some time in southern Ecuador
Cuenca looks wonderful. I must check it out. I’d also like to see some other areas in the lower half of the country since I didn’t visit them when I lived there. I have a feeling I’ll love it.
A few weeks in Panama?
This country has always been on my list. I’ve seen much of Central American, excluding Panama and Honduras. Since it’s a logical stopover (based on airline hubs), I think it makes sense to go there, too. Also, it will provide me with a sense of adventure/newness since I’ve never been there vs Ecuador, where I used to live.
I’m Glad It Wasn’t About Fear
I’m relieved to have figured out what was going on. Sure, I had some odd feelings about Indonesia. Not-so-good gut feelings? Perhaps. Whatever the case, I’m happy I figured it out and that it wasn’t just me ‘being chicken.’
I know now that there was something else going on–a deeper desire to tie up loose ends and pull the book together. And I feel good about that. Indonesia will happen…just not yet.
I Really Appreciate All the Advice You Gave Me
A lot of people, many I’ve met on Twitter, gave me great advice and/or shared their experiences with “cold travel feet.” I thank each and every one of you. I loved reading what you had to say and appreciate that you took the time to comment.
Any Tips for Ecuador and/or Panama?
Now that I’m planning this trip, I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been to either of these countries. I’m looking for amazing things to see, wonderful people to meet and of course, great/comfortable/safe/reasonably priced places to stay. I’d love to volunteer and maybe do a homestay. I love meeting the locals–the real people–most of all.
Any advice you have is greatly appreciated! Muchas gracias a todos!
How super exciting! Soo…. when are you going to be in Ecuador? In a couple of months *hint, hint*?
jill- Jack and Jill Travel The World recently posted..Meet Deb and Dave from The Planet D
Hi, Jill! Looks like late May. When will you be in “the area”? Hopefully around then (I know it’s a long shot, of course….still, it would be great!).
Yay! Book your flights yet?
Aaron @ Aaron’s Worldwide Adventures recently posted..Celebrating Life and Travel Heroism
Yay! Um..no, not yet. Tan pronto como puedo…as soon as I can. Tomorrow, I think. Must grab one of those decent tickets you helped me find!
Congrats on the decision! Sounds like you feel much better about this. Indonesia will still be there next year
Laura recently posted..Transportation Adventures to the Island of Sylt
Thanks, Laura. I do feel better about it and you’re right–Indonesia isn’t going anywhere! I’m sure I’ll make it there at some point…
It must be a relief to have finally come to a decision. I think it’s smart to tie up those loose ends. I don’t have any advice to give because I’ve never been to that part of the world. I’ll look forward to reading your tales, though – here and in your books!
Hi, Sabina. It is a relief. Something felt wrong about taking on so much at this point in time. Of course, now I’ve got to do what I’ve said I’d do (which is one of the main reasons for the decision). It’s almost like committing to a writer’s group meeting and having to produce. And that’s what I need right now–a little bit of (self-imposed) pressure.
Thanks for your input in that last post and for the invitation to Israel. Maybe I’ll see you somewhere else at some other point…you never know!
Sounds like you made the best decision for you, and that’s all that matters
Sounds like you’ll have an amazing time and I can’t wait to read all about it
Lauren recently posted..Photo Essay- Embracing the Aloha Spirit at a Luau in Hawaii
Hi, Lauren…yes, it does feel right for me at this point. I think it will be cool, too. Nice to speak Spanish in a Latin country once again (last time was about 3 years ago). Thanks for your interest!
I thought you said it would be an anticlimax??!! This is most definitely not an anticlimax, it’s equally as exciting! So glad you decided to follow your gut feeling, I always find that it’s the best thing to do. I hope you manage to finish the book while you’re there and look forward to hearing the stories from your time there.
Julia recently posted..A Bucket List For Someone Who Doesn’t Do Bucket Lists
Hey, Julia. Not sure what I was thinking re: the anticlimax….that somehow that on the adventure/culture shock/excitement Indonesia ranked higher? But maybe it’s because of returning to a country I once lived in. Of course, it’s been almost 15 years, so it will be very different. And that may mean another sort of culture shock (name of which I don’t know). In any case, thanks for following this and for all of your great advice on previous posts. I appreciate it!
Loved reading your thought process in making the decision. Sounds like a great trip! Good luck with your book =)
Andrea recently posted..Autumn in El Chalten Part One- Fitz Roy Trail
Thank you, Andrea. I thought it would be interesting to share it…to show the flow of my thoughts leading up to the decision. Thanks for the well wishes re: the trip and the book. Now I must get to work!
Lisa, dont worry. Indonesia is not going any where soon, and I’m sure your trip to Latin America will be full of adventure and new experiences even though you’ve been to some of these destinations previously.
Sometimes you just have to follow your gut. Safe travels….
Hi, Jason. Good point…Indo will be there later and this trip will have plenty of adventure, I’m sure. Although I lived in Ecuador, there was so much that I missed there. The thought of seeing the South is very exciting.
In the end, it does seem that the gut was saying something.
Thanks!
Congratulations Lisa! I’m glad you made the decision and hope the trip does exactly what it needs to do for you.
Gracias, David! I’m glad too–feels much better. And I hope I get what I need. Appreciate your advice, etc. on this and recent posts!
I know about needing to finish a project before feeling like you can move on! It sounds like you made the best decision, it’ll help you finish your book, and then you’ll be able to move on.
Nicole recently posted..The importance of returning to nature
Nicole–Sounds like you understand. Often that sense of completion is a priority or needs to be. When I make it less of one, I just don’t get things done. Looking forward to being done with the rough draft. Then, perhaps, Indonesia next time… Thanks!
I like that you went through the process of figuring out why you were so hesitant. There is usually a reason – we just have to find it. Ecuador will be it’s own adventure! Cheers!
Gillian @OneGiantStep recently posted..Taking A Small Bite Out Of The Big Apple
I agree, Gillian. There’s usually a reason and sometimes it’s not what we thought. At first, it seemed to be fear of natural disasters, but that just didn’t make sense since I’ve been to quaky places before (and even experienced a few mini quakes). I’m glad I took the time to figure it out. And I agree….Ecuador will have plenty of adventure.
Thank you!
Congrats on the decision – you can’t go wrong with Ecuador! If you haven’t been, then I would highly recommend checking out Banos de Agua Santa – such an awesome, quaint little town packed with stuff to do. It is so easy to spend time there even just relaxing in the amazing scenery.
Can’t go wrong with Cuenca either – love that city!
P.S. We downloaded the “Magic 8 ball” app for our iPod when we started traveling. It is SO useful. Just an idea.
Dalene – Hecktic Travels recently posted..Here We Go Again…
Hi, Dalene! I did go to Baños back when I lived there, but might go again. It was a sweet town for sure. And I’m very much looking forward to Cuenca. I’ve only heard good things about it!
Magic 8 app? No way…really? How fun. Must get over to my iPad right now and get that on there….
LOVE IT lisa!!! this just sounds right even reading it as an outsider. wise woman to take the time to listen to yourself and sort it all out. can’t wait to read the books!
Lorna – the roamantics recently posted..Cute Green Creen! Buying a Creen House on Wheels
Thanks, Lorna…for this comment and the others and our various chats. I feel that you really understood what I was going through re: the decision. Let’s hope I get the books done…I would love for you to read them!
You are a wise chickybus indeed. I have a hard time prioritizing these past months. Honestly, that’s why our book is taking longer than expected. Hate to admit it, but I typically will drop everything to travel at a moment’s notice. Hats off to you for being so focused. And best of success with the book/s.
Cheers,
Ann
@thetripchicks
Hi, Ann–fellow travel chick! Thanks for the support. Prioritizing is challenging sometimes, isn’t it? You’re writing a book, too? Cool. What’s it about?
I’m trying to be focused….hard, of course. Maybe this trip will help me get back on track.
Everything in this post is make sense. One step at a time. Let’s save Indonesia for another time, 2012 maybe?
. Indeed, it’s better for you to finish your book at first. Anyway, I wish you good luck with all the preparation to go to Equador and Panama 
.
Cheers,
Rina
Yurina Martin recently posted..From Sweet to Savory- Let’s go Dutch!
Thanks, Yurina. I think it does…and yes, one step at a time. Indonesia in 2012 sounds great. Thanks for the well wishes!
Sounds like a good plan I think finishing your book right now seems to be most important to you so get that done and out of the way. Then go to Indonesia at a later date.
Hi and thanks. I think it’s a good plan, too. Just need to get my flights squared away and to figure out how to divide the time. Maybe 2.5 weeks in Ecuador and 3.5 in Panama…or 3 and 3.
Nice choice! I was in the Galapagos and Quito in June of 2010 and had a wonderful time. The flight to Quito was very cheap, but the flight to Baltra for the Galapagos trip was more expensive. I stayed at the Hotel Sierra Madre in Quito. Es una buena decision
Suerte!
Sarah Got A Passport recently posted..Got A Passport Mentioned On Topguest Blogs Press History
Hi, Sarah. Cool that you went to the Galapagos! Looks amazing there, but as you mentioned, that flight over there and related costs are an ouch. Glad you enjoyed yourself in Ecuador. Cool country, isn’t it? I thought nature there was incredibly lovely. Muchas gracias por tus palabras!
YAY! I feel like I’ve been waiting for this announcement foreverrrrr!!! I’m actually so pumped you decided to go to Ecuador! I heart South America! Excited for you!!! AND JEALOUS!
Lindsay aka @_thetraveller_ recently posted..Great Places to Eat Out in Krakow- Poland
Thanks, Lindsay….you’ve been very patient…I did take forever, didn’t I? LOL I’m excited, too….and I do have room in my bag for you. Hope to see you squeezing into my backpack soon….
yay, glad you sorted it out and will finish those books you have been teasing us with
And I see Indonesia will be the start of book three 
Hey, Sprite….thanks and yes, better get that writing done, darn it! I like the idea of Indo being part of Book 3. Makes sense. Woot!
Have fun in Ecuador! I have to do a Peru/Ecuador trip soon as I have friends in Lima.
I’ve been to Panama City, and I would recommend the Canal museum very highly, because you get to watch big ships go through the locks. If the Museum of Biodiversity is open on the Amador Causeway, that should be fantastic (it was under construction when I went). Also Casco Viejo (the old city) is neat and we got an official private guided tour for $20.
Jennifer Barry recently posted..Just In Case
Thanks, Jennifer. Cool that you have friends in Lima….would make for a nice trip to that region!
I’ve heard that the canal is really cool and it does sound like fun, so….will definitely check it out. The old city sounds great, too. How are the prices of accommodations, by the way? I’ve heard that it’s affordable, but then I hear that it’s a bit pricey. Just wondering what your experience was…
I would say Panama City is cheap by European standards and expensive by Central America standards. With the influx of people from the US, hotels are booked solid most of the year. Expect to pay around US$100 per night for a 2 star hotel.
Jennifer Barry recently posted..Seoul Seeker
$100 for a 2-star? Ouch. That’s a bit high…but I understand since it’s the capital. I may be meeting a friend there, but I think we’re going to have separate rooms. Perhaps I’ll keep my time there brief or stay nearby. Or perhaps I’ll try couch surfing… Thanks for letting me know!
No doubt a fine plan, Lisa. So well thought out, and glad you were able to finally put your finger on what was really holding you back from Indonesia. I applaud your wisdom in opting to complete your book just now – it will surely be among your most satisfying accomplishments. And 6 weeks wandering around Ecuador and Panama isn’t exactly a hot stick in the eye.
It is bound to be chock full of adventures any way you cut it.
Just do be sure to get out to the San Blas Islands. I was there 15 years ago and they were absolutely idyllic – utterly pristine. Hopefully they’re still that way – I’ll be anxious to read about all of your adventures.
Dyanne@TravelnLass recently posted..So You Wanna Be an Intl Tour Operator- Huh Part IV the FINAL!
Thank you, Dyanne….appreciate your ongoing interest, advice and general awesomeness! I definitely needed to do some in-depth thinking about what was really going on. Nice that nature helped me figure it out. Phew. Good point re: Ecuador and Panama being something anyway and full of their own adventures. V true. By the way, it looks like my friend (the one who wanted to go to Indonesia) will be meeting me in Panama at some point. We’ll stay in different rooms, though, and be relatively independent of each other (with the exception of a trip to meet the indigenous).
Anyway, muchas gracias for everything!
Oh, now I’m catching up on everything! Sounds like this is perfect for your head space right now – and may help you to finish that book! I haven’t been to Ecuador but I have been to Panama. I loved Boquete and Panama City, and was slightly obsessed with the Panama Canal while I was there and visited two of the locks. Didn’t really rate Bocas del Toro – thought it was too touristy, but there are some great beaches there. Have a great trip!
Rebecca recently posted..Photo of the Week- Sunset kayaking in Port Moresby- Papua New Guinea
Rebecca–Hi, again. Yes, it’s been a multi-post adventure figuring all of this out!
Yes, this will work for my head space. Good to know about Bocas and you’re one of several people who have told me about how awesome the Canal is. Glad to hear it and will check it out! Definitely want to be on a great beach for at least 3 days, hopefully close to the end of the trip. Would be perfect. Thanks for all of the info…appreciate it!
wow, the beach for at least 3 days ? !!!! I am so there
Cool…but now the ticket prices have risen. I must search hard now. There’s a limit to what I’ll pay, especially for off-season. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. I wonder if ticket prices are still OK coming from where you are….
I heard mention airlines were raising prices by 15%. I found them today for around $600 from ATL. I have to get mine soon.
Hi Lisa, Thanks for the illustrated tour of the mind of a peripatetic Sagittarian! Enjoy the journey. Good for you for putting the book into manageable components.
Here are lots some of the things I’m curious about in Ecuador.
1. The importance of indigenous foods (chiles, potatoes, etc.) that were sent around the world as part of Spanish colonization. I believe there is evidence of cultivated chiles in Ecuador going back to 7500BC
2. Language: are there enclaves in Ecuador/Panama that still speak 16th Century Spanish?
Thanks for sharing and I look forward to hearing more! Steve
Steve Collins recently posted..Dining in San Diego’s revitalized Gaslamp Quarter
Hi, Steve. Glad you liked the tour and thanks for joining me!
I like your questions and will see what I can find. If I get some good info, I’ll share here or write a separate post. Muchas gracias for your interest!
you are making me feel so much better about my own indecision! i’ve not planned anything for my husband and myself for july/august, and i’m still all up in the air about my year off (to travel) next year. but if you are doing Ecuador next month (!!!) then clearly i’m not too behind in my planning.
have a great trip–i can’t wait to read all about it!
Hi, Tracy. Thanks for stopping by and joining in. You still have time–LOL. July is far away!
As for the longer trip, I can imagine that’s a huge decision. Good luck…I look forward to seeing where you’re going, etc…enjoy!
[...] over the past few months. I enjoyed the interaction/discussion we had when I was figuring out my next trip and which camera I would [...]
Hey, so I’m hopping onboard the Chicky Bus a bit late. I just read the post about your cold feet over going to Indonesia and now this one (had to find out what you decided!). And I have to say, I’m really glad you went with your gut. If you’d gone to Indonesia, it probably would have been fine, but if your gut instinct was to turn away from it — that just means now is not the right time.
And I started getting a little peeved at all the comments on the Cold Feet post telling you to just do it and not be afraid. Even if that had been your situation, so what? The world is full of amazing places to explore. Why go to someplace when you’re not ready to fully appreciate it? I’m glad you sorted it out with yourself and did not make your decision based on fear OR travel blogger peer pressure. (^.^)
Odysseus Drifts recently posted..Train to Nowhere- Japan
Hi, Odysseus. Thanks for joining the conversation and for the input! It was a challenging situation, for sure. I really thought I was going to Indo and normally would have dismissed my concerns, etc. But….that day I took the stroll out in nature, the answers came to me. I knew that I had real reasons for not going there. And I ended up on the trip I’m on now. And I’m glad I did. Ecuador was great and Panama is proving to be another awesome Latin American destination.
You’re right re: the gut instinct…I’m sure now that it was exactly that. That totally explains why I couldn’t hit the ‘purchase ticket’ button.
Re: feeling peer pressure….I can see that it may have come across that way on some level. It’s probably because I wrote the blog and put it out there that I had some fears. And I was asking for advice. Also, I have a reputation for jumping right in and not being afraid. Anyway, I do know what you mean re: not going to a place when you’re not ready for it. Definitely and thanks!
I envy you your travels. Just discovered your blog, thanks to a friend (Adventurous Wench), and posted on your PPS blog. I can’t help you with Equador or Panama, but if you ever do get to Bali, I can offer some tips – although it has been almost 40 years since I was there (Whew! that’s hard to believe!)
lifestorylady recently posted..Which book would make it into your life story?
Hi and thanks for letting me know how you ended up here! You went to Bali 40 years ago? Wow…v cool. I’m sure it was an amazing place back then. Hopefully, I’ll go in the future.
I did end up going to Ecuador (used to live there) and Panama (first visit)–just got back 2 weeks ago. Both countries were fantastic! Posts coming soon…